We're having a rough time with obedience in our house these days. I'm not sure if it's the new baby, or the endless hours trapped inside by snow and cold, or everyone hitting a developmental issue at the same time, or all of the above. Whatever the case, my two big boys and myself have all been a mess of frustration and yelling and overall grumpiness.
Isaac and I have talked once or twice in the past week about rewarding positive behavior, but I have to be honest: the thought of keeping track of their good decisions on top of their bad decisions seemed totally overwhelming to me. Never mind that my main goal in mothering these little sheep should be, well, the shepherding of their souls, following through on yet another thing seemed impossible.
But mothering is sort of about doing the impossible, you know? And after yesterday, something had to be done. So this morning, when Levi went to put his shoes on the first time I asked, without any whining or complaint, I took swift and decisive action. Enter: the obedience jar.
Isaac and I have talked once or twice in the past week about rewarding positive behavior, but I have to be honest: the thought of keeping track of their good decisions on top of their bad decisions seemed totally overwhelming to me. Never mind that my main goal in mothering these little sheep should be, well, the shepherding of their souls, following through on yet another thing seemed impossible.
But mothering is sort of about doing the impossible, you know? And after yesterday, something had to be done. So this morning, when Levi went to put his shoes on the first time I asked, without any whining or complaint, I took swift and decisive action. Enter: the obedience jar.
I grabbed an old applesauce jar, slapped a label on it (construction paper and packing tape, nothing fancy here), and approached him with the container of pompoms.
"Thanks for obeying cheerfully the first time!" I told him. "Put a pompom in the jar. When the jar is full, we'll go out for ice cream!" (My husband may have blinked twice at this spontaneous promise. I didn't consult him first.) Then I showed the jar to Owen and explained it to him, too.
I realize this is only the first day, but the boys are ecstatic about the obedience jar. It hasn't been a completely stress-free day, and in fact I had to take one pompom away after a more deliberate infraction, but for the most part they've been considerably more compliant than yesterday. Owen came upstairs for nap time the first time I asked (a huge deal), so I told him we'd put a pompom in the jar after he woke up. His first words upon awakening? "I want to pick out a pink pompom." He hadn't forgotten.
I didn't come up with this on my own. I know I have at least two friends who have done or are doing similar things, probably more. I'm just passing along ideas here. Who needs a big reward chart when an old applesauce jar will do?!
Update: the very next day, we didn't put a single pompom in the jar. Rough, rough day. But I'm still hopeful that the motivation to make good choices will increase.
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