So, about this whole baby announcement.
I'm due December 26, making me ten weeks along today. I'm feeling about like most women do at ten weeks: tired, not great, but most likely on my way out of it as second trimester approaches. I have learned a lot from carrying three babies, and I know that as long as I get 90-100 grams of protein a day, spaced out throughout the day, I'll be fine. That sounds like a lot, but since I was shooting for 150g/day at the end of my pregnancy with Silas, it's been pretty easy so far.
There are a great number of reasons to be happy about being pregnant right now (and I'm keeping a list in a journal I bought just a few weeks ago, when the emotions of early pregnancy threatened to overwhelm). I lost all of my Silas weight before I got pregnant. Since I've been in the habit of watching what I eat for months, it's been relatively easy to keep doing the same -- I'm just watching the protein number instead of the calorie number now. And, thankfully, I had already (mostly) broken the huge-bowl-of-ice-cream-every-night habit. Because my children are so close together in age, they are all still young, and all still take naps, which means that I get to take one most days, too. We're already in the practice of celebrating Christmas on St. Nicholas Day, so a baby at Christmastime isn't so awful.
Despite all of those very practical good things, I can't deny that the thought of four babies in four and a half years is a little intense, to say the least. People keep asking me how I feel about having another baby, and it's taken me a while to come up with an answer. In fact, it was my husband who came up with an analogy:
It's like we're white-water rafting, and there's a class 5 rapid coming up. It's exciting, and a little scary.
That's all he had to say, but the more I thought about it, the more relevant it seemed. I am not even remotely athletic -- okay, let's be honest, half the time I don't even like being outside -- but growing up, my family did a fair bit of white-water rafting on vacations, and I've done it enough to understand the basics. Bear with me while I beat this horse to death.
--Yes, the upcoming difficulties are a bit overwhelming, but it's not like we didn't know we're on the child-bearing boat. We got onto this raft voluntarily.
--Though my third pregnancy was a bit more expected, Silas was a class 5 rapid himself. It took me months to get my feet back under me, and I've been pretty open about the fact that having three children was really, really hard for me at first. I was looking forward to a period of calmer waters, and to not being pregnant or nursing for the first time since August of 2008. To come around this corner and see another rapid -- well, I'll be honest, it caught me off guard. But I have survived this, and I can do it again.
--The most relevant to me right now: you have to tuck your toes in or you'll fall out of the raft. That's what I think I'll be spending the next 30 weeks doing: tucking my toes in. Removing extraneous responsibilities. Putting plans in place for functioning in late pregnancy and early newborn stages. Double- and triple-checking that my relationship with my husband is in good shape, and that he's up-to-date on the ins and outs of caring for our three boys while I'm in bed with a new baby. Letting go of unreasonable expectations. Figuring out what's unreasonable.
So if you should ask me how I feel, and I get a little "deer in the headlights" expression, just know that I'm in the process of tucking my toes in. I teetered on the edge of the raft with my third, and I don't want to fall out. But I'm also incredibly, breath-takingly excited about the adventure!
I'm due December 26, making me ten weeks along today. I'm feeling about like most women do at ten weeks: tired, not great, but most likely on my way out of it as second trimester approaches. I have learned a lot from carrying three babies, and I know that as long as I get 90-100 grams of protein a day, spaced out throughout the day, I'll be fine. That sounds like a lot, but since I was shooting for 150g/day at the end of my pregnancy with Silas, it's been pretty easy so far.
There are a great number of reasons to be happy about being pregnant right now (and I'm keeping a list in a journal I bought just a few weeks ago, when the emotions of early pregnancy threatened to overwhelm). I lost all of my Silas weight before I got pregnant. Since I've been in the habit of watching what I eat for months, it's been relatively easy to keep doing the same -- I'm just watching the protein number instead of the calorie number now. And, thankfully, I had already (mostly) broken the huge-bowl-of-ice-cream-every-night habit. Because my children are so close together in age, they are all still young, and all still take naps, which means that I get to take one most days, too. We're already in the practice of celebrating Christmas on St. Nicholas Day, so a baby at Christmastime isn't so awful.
Despite all of those very practical good things, I can't deny that the thought of four babies in four and a half years is a little intense, to say the least. People keep asking me how I feel about having another baby, and it's taken me a while to come up with an answer. In fact, it was my husband who came up with an analogy:
It's like we're white-water rafting, and there's a class 5 rapid coming up. It's exciting, and a little scary.
That's all he had to say, but the more I thought about it, the more relevant it seemed. I am not even remotely athletic -- okay, let's be honest, half the time I don't even like being outside -- but growing up, my family did a fair bit of white-water rafting on vacations, and I've done it enough to understand the basics. Bear with me while I beat this horse to death.
--Yes, the upcoming difficulties are a bit overwhelming, but it's not like we didn't know we're on the child-bearing boat. We got onto this raft voluntarily.
--Though my third pregnancy was a bit more expected, Silas was a class 5 rapid himself. It took me months to get my feet back under me, and I've been pretty open about the fact that having three children was really, really hard for me at first. I was looking forward to a period of calmer waters, and to not being pregnant or nursing for the first time since August of 2008. To come around this corner and see another rapid -- well, I'll be honest, it caught me off guard. But I have survived this, and I can do it again.
--The most relevant to me right now: you have to tuck your toes in or you'll fall out of the raft. That's what I think I'll be spending the next 30 weeks doing: tucking my toes in. Removing extraneous responsibilities. Putting plans in place for functioning in late pregnancy and early newborn stages. Double- and triple-checking that my relationship with my husband is in good shape, and that he's up-to-date on the ins and outs of caring for our three boys while I'm in bed with a new baby. Letting go of unreasonable expectations. Figuring out what's unreasonable.
So if you should ask me how I feel, and I get a little "deer in the headlights" expression, just know that I'm in the process of tucking my toes in. I teetered on the edge of the raft with my third, and I don't want to fall out. But I'm also incredibly, breath-takingly excited about the adventure!
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