Why Gender Matters

So, last Monday I spent our extra-long nap time reading a fascinating book: Why Gender Matters by Dr. Leonard Sax.  Isaac discovered it through a recommendation from the Westminster Bookstore.  Dr. Sax is a secular psychologist (and the book is very obviously not written from a Christian perspective), but his research on gender differences is remarkably profound.  He addresses issues for both boys and girls, but given my boy-heavy household, I was particularly drawn to the information pertaining to boys.

Some scientifically-researched facts (though of course I would encourage you to read the book and decide from context what you agree with):

• Girls hear better than boys from birth.  (So, for example, a boy who appears not to be paying attention in class might just not be able to hear his female teacher.)
• Boys' eyes are predominantly comprised of the cells that track motion.  Girls' eyes mostly contain the cells that compile information about texture and color.  (So, little girls draw pretty pictures of people, and boys draw scribbly pictures of motion -- or, in Levi's case, snakes that wind across the page.  And boys really do prefer trucks to dolls, for physiological reasons.)
• During adolescence, a large fraction of the brain activity associated with negative emotion moves to the part of the brain associated with reasoning, language, etc. (the cerebral cortex) -- but only in girls.  Boys (even teenage boys) struggle to "talk about their feelings" because the two parts of their brains involved -- where negative emotions happen, and where language happens -- normally don't communicate (pp. 29-30).
• "As soon as kids are old enough to toddler across the floor, boys are significantly more likely to do something dangerous: put their fingers in socket, try to stand on a basketball, jump off a chair onto the floor" (pp. 41-42).  (Owen is a prime example of this, Mr. Dive-Head-First-Off-the-Couch.)
• Boys are actually more likely to get hurt climbing a tree or riding a bike, etc., because of they tend to overestimate their abilities (p. 44).  Girls generally need encouragement (in all sorts of areas), while boys more often need a reality check (p. 113).

Dr. Sax makes a big deal about kindergarten, on the basis that kids decide what the rest of school will be like in their first few weeks of kindergarten.  (I found most of what he said to be applicable even to future home-schooling.)  Thirty years ago, kindergarten was primarily about play and socialization -- that's what I remember, for sure, with a little bit of letter-learning thrown in.  The first-grade curriculum of 30 years ago, however, is the kindergarten curriculum of today: learning to read and write.  Well, five-year-old boys generally do not possess the fine motor skills necessary to write legibly (p. 95).  Right after I read that, I hopped online and happened across a preschool-mom blog who was stressing scissors-practice for her three-year-old son.  Don't get me wrong: we've gotten out the kid scissors to practice, too.  But with Dr. Sax fresh in my mind, I almost wanted to comment: "don't worry about it!  It might be two years before he can handle scissors -- and that's okay!"  Starting something early (like reading, or writing, or kindergarten) might help a child gain early proficiency; but, it also might mean the child simply does it badly for longer, or worse yet, cause the child to decide they're dumb because they can't do it and give up completely.

Another random thing I was struck by: the positive aspects of organized sports.  As a piano teacher, I've been a little anti-soccer, as my students were regularly rescheduling lessons and missing recitals for soccer practices and games.  But "real boys" -- high-energy, aggressive boys -- need an aggressive outlet.  Boys in groups do stupid things, Dr. Sax says.  Better to have them be supervised by a trustworthy coach and break a leg on a football field than to leave them to peer-only groups to end up doing drugs.

That's just the tip of the iceberg.  I know I've said this already, but I can't find a better word: this is a fascinating book.  I'm currently reading another by him, Boys Adrift, and I'm just about ready to throw out everything plastic in my kitchen and apprentice my sons to plumbers.  (He has a book targeted specifically for girls as well: Girls on the Edge.)  Again, he's not a Christian; there are too many chimpanzee analogies for my liking, and his views on sexuality are, well, secular.  But if you can be discerning (and it sounds interesting to you), I recommend Why Gender Matters!